Cameron's Baptism

Today, Nathan baptized our darling Cameron, confirmed him a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and gave him the gift of the Holy Ghost.  What a special day for Cam and our family!

We had so many friends and family come.  As much as I've been wanting a job and a house, I'm SO grateful that we were able to baptize Cam in this ward.  He has lived here since he was 18 months old, and I think it was perfect that we ended our time in the Village with his baptism.

Cameron, we are so proud of you!  Just like Meg said in her talk, you are SO smart and thoughtful.  You are going to do amazing things with your life, especially to further the work of the Lord on the earth.

Closer to God

I am still recovering from my marathon.  I have felt pretty crummy ALL week.  I've had a really mild fever, a lovely rash all over my abdomen, NO appetite and have been completely exhausted (NOT prego, by the way).  I really think I have some sort of virus, and I REALLY think I had it when I ran the marathon.  It would explain everything!  Like why my body could NOT run, the entire time!

So that's the physical aspect.  Hoping to kick this bug SOON!

Mentally and emotionally, I'm doing MUCH better.  I struggled for a couple of days.  EVERYTHING made me cry (promise I'm not pregnant!  Apparently post-marathon-ness is like the first trimester!).  I kept beating myself up over and over about how that marathon went.  But I'm feeling better now.  I'm out of that hazy feeling, and almost feel like I've been lifted above it.  Let me explain.

My friend, Mike Talbot, told me after the marathon, "You are not the same Becca who toed that starting line."

I can't get that thought out of my mind.  It's SO true.  The feelings and experiences I had in those grueling 6 hours were so humbling.  I have felt a quiet closeness to God this week.  I can't get enough of the scriptures.  I feel closer to Nate.  I feel like I have more faith than ever before.  There were moments during my marathon where everything went away.  Time, material things, people, what I thought to be reality....it just vanished, and I was just briefly lifted to a higher plane, above all that.  Sure, maybe I was just delirious from the heat, but I'm going to go ahead and pretend that I wasn't.  John Groberg wrote about his experience in Tonga when the island he was on had been hit by a bad hurricane, and they waited weeks and weeks for a boat to come with food.  He explains how he begins to grow closer to God as his physical state diminishes.

"We continued to waste away physically but grow in the more important spiritual sense.  I dozed a lot and at times wasn't entirely sure where I was.  I became convinced that just as we must break the bands of the gravitational pull of this earth in order to explore the farther universe, so we must break the bands of the gravitational pull of the cares of the world before we can begin to see the realities of some of these external relationships. I learned much about who God is, what the plan of salvation is, who the Savior is, and what His part in that great plan is.  I learned something about why and how the world was created, a little about the love our Father in Heaven and Jesus have for us, and why God allows supposedly evil things to happen.  When you feel God's love and have the confidence and assurance that He is there, then other things aren't important."  -John H. Groberg, The Other Side of Heaven pg 116-117.

Such an amazing book.  Read it!

I will forever be grateful for my marathon experience.  The impression to run it and embark on that journey was real.  It was from God.  He needed me to be in that situation so He could put people in my life who I need, and most of all, so He could teach me things I wouldn't have learned any other way.  I'm so grateful for the gift of running.  My running is more than a hobby for me.  It has been an invaluable tool that God has used to teach and refine me.

My Marathon

26.2 miles.  I did it!  It was one of the most difficult, yet rewarding experiences of my life.

It didn't go as planned.  Running-wise it went horribly, which made no sense.  I had put in the training miles and time.  The numbers added up.  I had studied my paces on my long runs and come up with a VERY doable time frame.  But compared to most runners, I did a horrible job.  I think everyone else met their goals, and their marathon paralleled their training.  Not me.  I don't feel like I fit in with them right now.  I trained and trained, but with how it went, I may have well have not run a single mile in the last 6 months.  It's been really hard to process how this run went, emotionally.  I've been crying, a lot. I'm so emotional.  So torn between being so disappointed, but yet realizing that while running a solid race and reaching my goals would have been amazing, I would have missed out on some experiences that were SO amazing in other ways.

Here was the plan:  Train hard, run it with confidence, finish between 4:50 and 5:20.  Boom.  Ogden Marathon done.

NOT what happened.  Here's what did happen.  And why, at the end of the day, it was an experience that I will forever be grateful for.  A gift.  I wasn't meant to run strong and get the time I wanted today.  I was meant to struggle and fight and learn what I learned.  

This is my marathon.

***

On Friday afternoon, Hilary picked me up and we headed up to Ogden.  We went to the expo and picked up our race packets.  The race shirts are really cute!  I have not had good luck with race shirts, but these ones rock.  We didn't stick around for too long, because we had a big group reservation for dinner at Rooster's.  I think there were about 30 people at the dinner!  It was so fun to see everyone.  Even though Joshua wasn't running Ogden, he came up to the dinner with Christy to hang out.  I got to meet Brook and Carl and a few other people in the group I hadn't met yet.

I sat with Christy, Robert Merriman, Joshua, Hilary and Carl.  We laughed nonstop.

First time marathon ladies:  Brook, Hilary, Christy, me

Afterwards, I drove with Christy and Joshua back to the expo to get Christy's race packet.  I was still furious at Joshua for not running this race with me.  I was staying with Sonja, so when they dropped me off, Joshua gave me a big hug.  I had to hold back the tears.  He has literally been with me every step of this journey, and I was beyond upset that he wasn't going to finish it with me.

Hilary and Kasie also stayed with Sonja.  We had a great time visiting and laughing SO hard.  Kasie and I had planned to shoot for a 4:50 finish time, with a nice buffer, so really our goal was about 5:20.  She had printed up a pace band to wear, and we were excited to run together.  We were all smart and went to bed early.  I didn't sleep very well, but I hadn't really expected to!  When I went up to my room, Sonja had put a card and an adorable Ogden Marathon necklace charm on my pillow!  So sweet!

My alarm went off at 3:55.  Blah.  I had been debating back and forth about what to wear.  I had been doing most of my training runs in pants and capri's, but the weather was supposed to be hot.  I had some new running shorts, but it's one of the cardinal rules of running, NEVER wear something new on race day.  Especially your first marathon!  So before I went to bed, I prayed!  I know the Lord cares about the details of our life.  When I woke up, I felt clearly that I should wear shorts.  So I did.  (And for the record, I had NO chafing issues the entire run.....except for under my arms, but I knew that would happen!).  So we got dressed, ate a little breakfast and headed over to the bus pick-up.

Riding the buses to the start line was daunting.  We just kept driving and driving....and we knew the only way to get back to our cars was on our own two feet!  Kind of crazy!  The start line was freezing.  We met up with a bunch of RA peeps there.  Vince and Katheryn had an extra space blanket they let Kasie and I share, and that was awesome.  Helped a ton!  We had to sit and wait for an hour.  Ugh!

Monte is a complete stud and had typed up quotes from famous runners and from members of our group and put them into a baggie for us first-timers to read along the way.  SO SWEET!!!!  They really helped.  They were a perfect mix of inspirational and hilarious!

Porta potties "as far as the eye could see", according to Robert Merriman!

We were sitting there chatting, trying to stay warm and calm, and suddenly the announcer guy said, "Will Becky Wood please come to the announcer's booth."  What?  Why?  I was nervous that something had happened to my family or something!  (I'm a bit of a pessimist, apparently!)

And, well, this is what happened.  I was SO excited!  Best surprise ever!

Post by Joshua Snow Hansén.

Apparently EVERYBODY knew, but me.  He had Monte pick up race packet, and he had really stayed up in the condo with everyone.  Sneaky Joshua!  This meant the world to me.  This was his note for Monte and London to pick up his packet.  Hilarious.  It really bothered me the past 4 months that he would go through ALL of that training with me and not be at the race.  But he WAS!!

Joshua and Ty on race morning.  I love my crazy little brothers!

Big sister Christy was a big help to Joshua during his little scheme.

Ready to RUN!!!

Finally it was time to start.  I was a lot less nervous than I thought I would be.  The starting gun went off, and we shuffled towards the start line.  It took about 3 minutes for us to finally reach it.  Then we were off!

My stomach didn't feel well for the first 3 miles.  Not good.  I never have stomach issues when I run!  EVER!  I took a Gu at Mile 3 and immediately felt better.  Kasie and Brook had taken off already.  I think I ran the first 1/4 mile with them is all.  And that's okay.  They ended up running their own marathon, and Kathryn and I ran ours.  We ran with Joshua and Tim Gill (who was carrying a Huntsman Cancer flag and wearing a kilt!) for a few miles, but ended up going ahead of them after a few miles.

So then it was me and Katheryn.  We tried to keep our pace around 11:00-ish, which we did a great job of for the first 7 miles.  But around Mile 8, my feet started to ache, and I had to pee, and I just started not feeling great.  NOT a good sign when you have 18 miles left!  Katheryn and I started to fight to keep our pace up, but after awhile, we agreed that we needed to mentally let our goals go and just move forward and finish this marathon.  All runners know, some days are good and some days are bad.  It just happens.  I knew pretty quickly that today was just not going to be a good running day.  And there's not a whole lot you can do about it.  I was drinking TONS and fueling plenty.  Some days the stars align and you run SO much better than you ever thought you could (like at Nebo and Riverton), and some days nothing seems to go right.  Unfortunately, the Ogden Marathon was one of those off days for me.

At first, I got really discouraged.  I prayed and texted Nate and asked him to pray for me.  He was texting me every mile or so asking how it was going and sending me so much encouragement!  I couldn't figure out why God would invite me to take this journey, and then not help me fly to the finish line.  But as I sit here now, processing how the 2nd half of the race went, I realize that His hand was right with me all along.  He sent several angels to help me finish this race.  He let me struggle and overcome because sometimes that's how He teaches us the most important lessons and can in turn shower us with amazing blessings.  Once I reached Mile 13, the struggles got worse, but the blessings started showing up.

When we got to Mile 14, we had to climb the only real hill of the course.  Right at the bottom of it, Tim Gill caught up to us.  Joshua wasn't with him, and neither Katheryn nor I knew him hardly at all, but he ended up running the next several miles with us.  I don't think that was a coincidence.  He was hilarious, and heaven knows I needed a few laughs right then, but most of all, he had a calming demeanor.  He kept saying to us over and over things like, "This is your first marathon.  Just enjoy it.  Walk when you need to.  You'll get there."  He really helped us let go of some of our stress and just move forward.  He also gave me some fruit bars and an electrolyte tablet.  That was kind of funny.  He hands me this white pill.  I tell him, "My life is in your hands." and I take it.  Turns out he didn't drug me.  ;)  It helped a lot, and I'm grateful for Tim and the role he played in helping me through those middle miles of my marathon.  Here is Tim.

Funny signs along the way always made me smile!

I never EVER run with music.  Not sure why, I just don't.  But I had brought Nate's shuffle, which he had loaded up with all of my favorites, so I started that up at Mile 16.  By Mile 19, I put it back away because I was starting to get a headache (which I realize now was likely the start of the heat exhaustion that would overtake me soon).  But for a few miles, Jared Leto joined me on my marathon and the music was a GREAT boost.

At Mile 17, Katheryn started having some severe knee pain.  She had spent most of the marathon running on the shoulder of the road to give her knee a break, but it was really bothering her.  She got a little emotional.  I put my arm around her and told her I wasn't leaving her.  I had no idea our roles would be reversed in just a few miles.

Also at Mile 17, this overly-hyper volunteer at the aid station came bounding over to me and patted my stomach and said, "Aww, you've got a little guy in there!"  I was NOT in a good mood at this point, so I just glared at her (through my glasses, so she didn't see) and pulled up my tank to show her my amphipod belt that was stuffed with Gu and my phone.  "Oh....sorry!"  I probably would have laughed and joked with her if it had been Mile 3, but I just wasn't in the mood, so I just gave her a little smile and kept going.

At Mile 18, we crossed the dam and headed down Ogden Canyon.  FINALLY some downhill.  But we were SO dead that we could barely shuffle, even downhill.  Tim left us around Mile 20, and we kept moving forward as best as we could.  The heat was intense.  And then things got REALLY bad.

Haha, Katheryn was like, Just kill us now!

Around Mile 21.5 or so, we were taking a walking break, and my mind and body started to feel really weird.  Really OFF.  I couldn't focus.  Nate called me to ask how things were going, and I had a hard time forming sentences.  I knew something was wrong with me.  Suddenly I got really light headed and nauseated.  Katheryn put my arm around her shoulder and literally held me up and said, "No matter what, we are finishing this".  I still tear up when I think about that.  She had to be exhausted, but she was strong for me.  It got worse.  I physically COULD NOT walk.  So I sat down on the side of the road.  She gave me a gel to take.  The medic van and a police officer on a motorcycle pulled up and gave me ice cold water.  The police officer said he wanted to pull me off the course.  I started bawling.

It was hands down one of the worst moments of my life.  If they would have put me in a van, left Kathryn there and driven me to the finish, I think that would have destroyed me.  Maybe that sounds overly dramatic, but with everything I have put into this marathon, the thought of not crossing that finish line was just horrible.  Sure, I could train for and attempt another marathon later on, but I really think something like this would have been a really big blow to my confidence.  It already was!

Katheryn stepped in between me and the officer and went into Mama Bear mode.  "No. You are not taking her.  Give her TWO minutes!"  I think she might have even wagged her finger at them and raised her voice.  Once again, my guardian angel for the day!

So the police officer and medics said they were going to go, but that if I got to the mouth of the canyon (about half a mile down) and wasn't any better, they weren't giving me a choice.  I waited a few more minutes and stood up.  We walked for a minute or two, and I immediately felt horrible again.

I kept getting the impression to "lie in the shade with your feet up".  So I pointed to a small shady patch on the other side of the road and told Katheryn I needed to lie there.  She held my feet in the air.  She kept telling me that I was going to make it.  I'm not sure how long I laid down for.  A few minutes, I think.  A few runners passed by and stopped to make sure I was okay (runners are so kind!), and Katheryn waved them ahead.  She is a mom of four (including twins!), and she is so nurturing and strong.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to thank her enough for taking care of me out there the way she did.  The Lord did NOT abandon me out there.  His hand was right over me, in the form of my dear friend, Katheryn.

So like I said, I'm not sure how long I laid down for.  Two minutes?  Five?  Ten?  Time was SO trivial to us at that point.  Plus, after being threatened to be pulled off the course, my hunger for that finish line and my medal was stronger than EVER.  I honestly did not care if I had to crawl across that finish line 10 hours later.  I was getting there.  So I got up and started walking.  I felt a little better.  Ten steps later, I felt a little more better.  "Okay, I think if nothing else, I can walk!" I told Katheryn.  This was good!  Twenty steps later, I not only started to feel better, I started to feel good!  We started running.

Then yet another tender mercy from the Lord occurred.  Katheryn looked behind us, and lo and behold, there was Joshua!  I started crying again.  I stopped and waited for him to reach us, and I just kept thinking, "He's here with me!  We're going to finish this marathon together!"  He actually thought I was already done and had come back up to find him.  Um, no.  I told him about what had happened and how awful I had felt during the WHOLE run.  He immediately boosted me up with his hilarity and just his presence.  I was so happy.  I'm not entirely sure, but maybe everything needed to happen how it did so that Joshua and I really would finish this journey together.

So we ran.  We turned this corner and saw two cute girls jumping up and down and screaming at us.  It was Meridith and Sonja!  More angels to boost me up!  I was SO happy to see them!  Meridith hugged me SO tight, and I just started crying again.  She wouldn't let go, and she wouldn't stop saying, "You've got this.  You can do this." over and over.  She is training for her first marathon in September, so I said, "Don't do it, Meridith!  It's HORRIBLE!!!"  I was kidding overall, but NOT at that moment!  I cannot believe how tough those last 8 miles were.

While with them, we pulled out another Monte quote from the baggie, and it said:  "WWRMD?"  Not funny to anyone who doesn't know Robert Merriman, but it made me laugh so hard!  Classic!

As we left, Sonja said, "There's Otis Spunkmeyer cookies at the next aid station.  RUN TO THE COOKIES!!!"  HA!  She's so awesome.  So we ran to the cookies.  And they were SO good!

So as I said, I had started to feel good.  When we left Sonja and Meridith, I started to feel GREAT.  As in BETTER than I had felt from Miles 1-22.  I felt NO pain in my feet or legs.  I felt light on my feet.  It was a complete miracle and really amazing.

So for the last 3 miles, Joshua, Katheryn and I talked about running.  We talked about what we have learned and how there are so many parallels to the Gospel, especially with the marathon.  I could feel the Spirit so strong.  Katheryn teared up a little, and she shared some scriptures.  It was incredible.  Those miles made all of the misery that was behind us just fade away.  My Patriarchal Blessing I received as a teenager says that angels will always be waiting to assist me when needed.  So many angels today, some seen and undoubtedly many unseen.

So after Nate and I had hung up the phone right before my little heat exhaustion episode, or whatever that was, my phone froze up.  It was so full of sweat and salt, and it wouldn't work!  I felt horrible because I think the last thing I had said to Nate was "I can't do this!" or something, and then I never wrote or called again (because I couldn't!).  So the poor guy had no idea how I was doing!

When the three of us turned down Grant street where the finish line was, Nate had walked down and was standing in the road.  I started crying AGAIN when I saw him and ran into his arms.  Nothing had ever felt more comforting and homey than being right there.  I didn't want to let him go!!  But we could SEE the finish line, so off we went.  Nate was bummed that he wasn't down at the finish line, but I loved seeing him when we did.  He told me later how strong he thought I looked and how it surprised him.  I'm telling you, it was a miracle and a blessing those last few miles!

Katheryn was starting to struggle at that point with some chest pains, so we shuffled along.  As we neared the finish line, Joshua let us go ahead while he filmed us.  Crossing that finish line with Katheryn was amazing.  I will never forget it.

Today wasn't my day to run a 4:50 or whatever I might have run.  But today was my day to grow closer to Nate and to my friends and most importantly, to my loving Heavenly Father.  To build my faith in Him.  To find joy in the journey.  So much joy!

I am a marathoner.

One final piece of hilarity:  At the finish line, I asked Joshua for my card he had written, which he had put in his backpack.  This is what it looked like though!  HA!  Sad.  But funny!

Post by Joshua Snow Hansén.

Ogden 26.2: Week THIRTEEN

It's that lovely time of the week again!  Thirteen down, five to go!  Are ya'll sick of it yet?  I kind of am.  ;)
Kidding.  I still love running!

So look at that chart.  One of those numbers is NOT like the others!

On Tuesday, I ran Bonneville.  Ashley isn't really running much anymore (and she's having a girl!), so I was a lone ranger, but that's okay.  I enjoy the solitude of the trails.  Wednesday was speedwork.  It hurt.  It usually does, which is why I rarely do it.  After Ogden, I will be focusing on getting faster, so speed work and I will need to develop a better relationship.  Blah.  I really should have run on Thursday, but I was just too tired.

So today was my first 20-miler!  Phew!  I did it.  And it wasn't that bad, really.

Originally, my plan was to meet up with the BIG group and run down a canyon in Herriman.  But then just a few days ago, my babysitting fell through.  I decided I had better run much closer to home so I could get home earlier.  Joshua, Kasie & Christy decided to join me, which was flattering, because this meant they would not be running with Robert Merriman, and that's quite a sacrifice.  ;)

Joshua and I went back and forth on where we should run.  Ten miles up Emigration and then back down?  Ten miles down Emigration, drive back up, then do another ten down?  We met up early this morning, and it turned out Kasie had gone to bed too late, and Christy wasn't feeling well, so it was just us.  Joshua made the brilliant suggestion of driving up to the top, running down 5, then up 5, and then down 10.  But when we got to the top, he then made another brilliant suggestion of leaving the car at 10, running 5 further up, then back and then the last 10 down.  (does this make sense?  It did to us....).

So that's what we did.  It turned out to be a lot hillier than I wanted, but we did it.  About a mile past the top, we got to Little Dell Reservoir.  Just past that, the road was closed off to traffic.  For the next several miles, we had the entire road to ourselves!  It was perfect.

It was UPHILL.  Oh, the uphill.

Halfway up, we came across a Mormon history site.  There was a plaque talking about how a group of pioneers had camped there on the river.  There was a quote by Orson Pratt at the bottom, and I LOVED it.  It was so fitting!

We kept trucking along.  Up and UP.  I think what made it the most bearable was how absolutely gorgeous it was.  And the stories Joshua told me....

When we hit the 5-mile mark, we sat our tired butts down right in the middle of the road (because we could!) and ate some food and let our legs rest for a few minutes.  That was lovely.  And I was FREEZING!  See that snow on the side of the road?  It was chilly.  But once we got back down a few miles, I was completely warm again.

The best part is that what goes up, must go DOWN, so we got to run back down the torturous mountain we had just climbed.  That was fun.  But still tiring.

When we got back to the reservoir, a wonderful sight was waiting there for us:  CHRISTY!!!!

We were so happy to see her!  She woke up feeling better, so she had come to run the rest of the way with us.  We dragged ourselves up the last BIG hill.  Then we had 10 miles of all downhill.  Phew!  Mentally, it was nice to just relax and not stress about hills, but my body was feeling it.  I hurt!  My feet and calves hurt the most.  But with running, you sort of reach a point of pain where you know it's not really going to hurt any worse, so you just push through it and eventually sort of become numb.  Sounds awesome, right?  ;)

Around Mile 15, I took a salted caramel Gu, and that was good!  I decided to push my pace just a tad.  I lengthened my stride, which uses different muscles.  It felt good to rest some of my other muscles and use others.  I was able to keep that up until we hit Ruth's diner, where the blessed Honey Bucket lives.  We love that porta-potty!  See?

 The last 4 miles were tough.  Painful.  But we powered through!  We had to run once around the Village to reach 20 miles.  I was SO happy to hear my watch beep at 20.  TWENTY MILES DONE!!

Here are the hills.  They don't look that steep here.  But they were.  Trust me.

It's easy to see how my mile splits where the hills were at Miles 4/5 and 9/10!  SLLOOOOWWW!!!

And of course we had to go stuff our faces at the taco stand after.  It's tradition, now.  YUM.  I love eating food after burning 2000 calories!!

So just remember.  When you are faced with a mountain that you feel like you cannot tackle, "Labor diligently upon the road."  I have felt the Lord's hand in my marathon training journey.  I am doing my part, putting in the WORK, and He is doing the rest.  It is amazing.

FOUR hours of running.  Sore legs.  Christy convinced me to take an ICE BATH when I got home.  So I went and bought a 20 lb bag of ice and dumped it in the tub.  Stepping into that bath was the worst moment of my LIFE.  The pain was so intense, I felt like I was going to pass out!  But after about two minutes, my legs were numb, and then it was fine.  Christy texted me during the whole time and got me through it!  I stayed in there for 10 minutes.  It really does help with the soreness and muscle cramping.  I don't know if I can bring myself to go through it again after my next long run, though!!

Our overall time was a little slower than I was hoping for, BUT the hills.  OH THE HILLS.  So, speaking of hills, Joshua made a little video for our sweet friend, Cindy Ford Hills.  She is awesome, and she DID help me run up some big hills a few weeks ago on our 17-miler.  You guys will perhaps think it's odd and that Joshua is crazy, but this is just so him.  Twenty miles with him was a blast.  He's freaking hilarious.  Go ahead and click on the video and meet Mr. Joshua.  He's such a goof, and we all love him for it!  (and I love how Christy and I are just standing there watching him act crazy like it doesn't even phase us.  Because it doesn't.)

Post by Joshua Snow Hansén.