A Stack of Dusty Old Books

My parents came up to visit us last week, and my dad was carrying a stack of dusty old books.  He handed them to me and said he had found them in their storage room.  Apparently my mother read them when we were all young so she could get through the young motherhood years with her sanity intact.

My wise father must have known that I need them now....30 years later...to keep my sanity intact!

Welcome to a very typical 4 pm hour meltdown brought to you by my babies:

I'm just going down the stack, book by book.  I finished "A Joyful Mother of Children" a few days ago and absolutely loved every word.  It was written by a mother of 7 children.  One of the most real books on mothering children because she knows just how we feel!  She wasn't trying to throw a bunch of psychology or child development facts at you.

My "Read With Me" idea came to me just about 24 hours after one of the worst motherhood meltdowns I have EVER had this weekend (just ask Nate!).  I felt out of control.  I couldn't control my emotions or my anger towards my children.  I didn't want to do this motherhood thing anymore.  I didn't think I could do this anymore.  I felt stuck, depressed and angry at myself for not being the mother I always envisioned I'd be.

But then I remembered a chapter in that book I'd just finished where she talked about how because of Christ's atonement, we can change.  "Progress means change.  The times we grow the most are those times when we are required to change something we don't like about ourselves.  Children provide us with many great blessings.  One is the absolute need to change in order to survive.  It is very comforting to know that we all have a set of weaknesses to work with, and that if we really believe that we can change those weaknesses, they can actually become our strengths.  Ether 12:27: And if [women] come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.  I give unto them weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then I will make weak things become strong unto them." -pg 122-123

I knew immediately that I needed to turn myself over to the Lord and plead for His help.  I felt impressed that turning to the scriptures was the first step to changing and becoming a different, better mother.  And like I mentioned before, it's already happening.  This has been the best week I've had in a very long time.  I haven't lost my temper, even when the kids have lost theirs.  My heart doesn't start pounding when Cameron deliberately disobeys me.  I feel peace and calmness in my heart.  I'm so grateful for that.