Temple

After 9 years of wearing his old mission suits, Nate finally went and bought himself some snazzy new suits last week.  Holy smokes, that boy looks FINE in them!  Really, really hot.  Sigh...

Anyway, tonight my sweet visiting teacher, Lynn, offered to watch our kids while we went to the temple.  We chose the Bountiful Temple, which is always one of my favorites.  It's just beautiful.

I love being in the temple with Nate.  I love remembering and renewing those covenants I have made and WE have made together.  I know that temples make forever families possible.

I am so happy and feel so blessed to be a member of this Church.  I know it is true.

My Thoughts

How I'm feeling tonight. 

Feeling stronger than ever that the solution for MY family is to cling to the Gospel, stay out of debt and develop a relationship SO rock-solid with our Heavenly Father that nothing can shake us. I don't trust politics. But I trust the Lord. I trust in His ability to guide my family as we live IN this world, but not OF it. Immersing myself in the Book of Mormon has kept a calm peace in my heart through all of this. As it always does. I'm off to read... As for me and my house, we DO choose, serve and honor the Lord.

My faith means everything to me. I've seen the Lord's hand in my life too many times to EVER doubt or deny it. In the end, the earth (and all of the STUFF on it) will be rolled up as a scroll and destroyed, and ALL that will remain is US...and who we became. Whether or not we have a relationship with Christ. All I want out of life is to be able to kneel in His presence proudly and for him to approve of how I served Him during my time here. I have a lot of improving to do...

Cam, Roo & Claire, (and Baby O or K...if we really end up having you!!  I'm tired, so we'll see!  But if you do end up in our little family, this will apply to you as well, don't think you will get off easy cuz you're the baby!!) please cling to your testimonies NO MATTER WHAT.  I promise you it is ALL that matters.  Don't let the world take over what you know is true and right.  Daddy and I are doing everything we can to teach you the Gospel, but the time will come when you will have to make your own choice.  I pray every day that you choose the Lord.  It is all real.  It is true.  It will all be worth it.  In case you don't remember, EVERY time you guys pray lately, you say that you are grateful that we can be a family for forever.  I love it when you say those words.  Please keep saying them.  Believe them.  Live so that our little family WILL be together forever.

We love you so so much!

Love,
Mom

An Abundance of Angels

This morning I had the opportunity to attend Church at Primary Children's Medical Center, just up the street from where we live.  I accompanied on the piano for a musical number.  The moment you step inside the hospital, you know you are in a special place.  There is a reverence there.  A peace.  Even though you know there is a lot of pain, suffering, sadness, and unfortunately death that occurs within those walls, you also know there are miracles, healing, prayers, faith and most definitely the presence of unseen angels.  Our musical number went well, and I hope the children, parents and hospital staff in attendance felt uplifted.  A member of one of quorums of the Seventy happened to be there visiting his grandchild, so he came and spoke during the meeting.  He told us that President Monson has said that there is an abundance of angels there at Primary's, second only to temples.  It was difficult for me to see those sick or injured children.  Despite their trials in life, they still have such pure faith and an unshaken desire to worship and love their Savior.  I couldn't help but picture my children being patients there, and I obviously couldn't stop the tears.  I pray morning and night that my babies will always be safe and healthy.  Seeing them scared or in pain is the worst thing a mother can endure, and unfortunately I can't keep them from ever feeling those things.  So I'm thinking now that maybe I should change the focus of my prayers to this:  That my children will always be surrounded by and strongly feel the presence of an abundance of angels whenever they are in need of them.  And that when they are faced with hard things during their time here on Earth, that they will turn to their Savior and their testimonies and cling to them with everything they have.  Yes, that's definitely what I will start praying for now.

Our own Church was wonderful today.  Our bishop spoke about reverence in our Church meetings and teaching our children by example.  I had to laugh because our kids were CRAZY during the whole thing, the Wood Family Circus usually makes a weekly appearance.  Oh well.  Atleast our kids know that we attend Church every week as a family.  That is where the Lord wants us.  So that is where we will be.  In Relief Society, Kristi taught a wonderful lesson about the Millenium.  It is so comforting to know that one day, Christ will again reign on the earth.  Righteousness and truth will prevail.  Satan will be bound.  The earth will be cleansed and perfected.  And the wonderful thing that Kristi pointed out is that we don't have to wait for the Millenium to feel that peace.  Righteousness and truth can (and must) prevail in our own homes.  Satan can (and must) be bound in our own homes.  It is a personal choice we can make every day as we do those things that invite and keep the Spirit in our homes and in our lives.  Oh I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  It means everything to me.

This evening we had an early Thanksgiving Dinner with Nate's extended family.  So much good food!  Always fun to visit and see the kids run around with their cousins.  Mallory and fam are coming for Thanksgiving Day this week, and we are all excited to see them again.

I finished reading "The Wednesday Wars" the other day.  I absolutely loved it.  I cracked up through the whole book, and I loved the little twists and surprises that turned Holling's woes into triumphs.  Loved it.  It'll definitely end up on my bookshelf.  The only problem with reading a book that I personally rate 5 stars is that usually the few books I read after it seem lame, even if they aren't all that lame.  Know what I mean?  I'm reading an entirely different story now, but I just miss Holling!!

Yesterday was a Snow day.  Nate was home all day, so he took the older two out sledding.  We watched Iron Man and read and cleaned and rearranged furniture and just hung out.  I love days like that.  I'm such a homebody.  We ended the day by eating Indian food with the Centini's.  Nate & Tyler got to visit, which Staci and I were happy about.  The kids had fun together, Claire slept through the whole thing, and obviously the food was just awesome.

Okay, I think that's everything!  Sorry, no new pictures.  Just a new header, courtesy of the talented (and gorgeous, might I add) Noelle.  Thank you!  The kids each look so different now, so I'm hoping to update their pictures maybe in the Spring.

Clarity

Cwaire turned 3 months this week.  We got her Christmas present a little early.  A new exersaucer!  She loves to hold her head up, and when she's lying on the floor or in her bouncy seat, she tries so hard to keep her head up and she gets frustrated.  So we decided to see how she'd do propped up in an exersaucer.  She loves it!  She loves to talk to the toys and is practicing her exciting skills of grabbing at things with her hands. 

She always smiles at herself in the little mirror.

But....sometimes she is ready to get out!

Cute outfit from Grandma!

We woke up to snow this morning!  Cameron and Rooster were so excited to put on their snow gear and head out.  I was so sick last Winter with the pregnancy, so I never went out and played with them last year.  So I was excited too!  I took them sledding and had so much fun!  Roo was a little wary of the snow last year, but this year she dug right in!  She and Cam clomped around in the snow for almost 2 hours.  It's going to be a fun Winter!

Cameron asked me today, "Mom?  Are you married yet?"

Nate and I got to go on our first date since Claire was born.  We just went and got some lunch, but it was fun to get away for a few minutes and hang out.  Tonight we also got to attend the adult session of Stake Conference.  Such a GOOD meeting!  Our Stake Presidency spoke about trusting the Lord.  They each shared personal experiences from their lives of how they've trusted the Lord in times of uncertainty and seen amazing blessings because of it.  It was so comforting to hear real stories of how uncertainty is replaced by certainty and peace.  My favorite quote was: "Don't put a question mark where the Lord has put a period."  They also talked about how "enduring to the end" does NOT mean "suffering to the end."  The Lord intends for His children to have JOY while we are on the earth growing and learning.  They reminded us to look for the little things each day that remind of us God's love for us.  It was just so perfect for me to hear right now. 

This past year has been such an amazing year, Nate and I have grown in so many ways, and we have felt the Lord guiding our decisions.  Back in March, we were about to buy a house.  We had decided to quit school and move to West Jordan.  But then we had one of the most powerful experiences I've ever had with the Spirit.  It came the morning after I gave the most heartfelt, sincere, pleading prayer to Heavenly Father that I have EVER done.  That evening I just felt restless and scared and worried and unsure.  So I prayed.  I really, really prayed.  And it was answered.  I woke up with so much clarity.  And so did Nate.  We woke up, and I said, "We can't buy that house."  and Nate said, "I know.  And I'm going to apply for a Masters in Social Work."  Together, we felt the Spirit speak SO directly to us.  Everything felt crystal clear....a feeling I had never experienced.  Just the night before, we were set on buying a house and Nate hadn't EVER brought up or thought about social work.  But the next morning, we woke up with an entirely new life plan for our little family.  We KNOW it was NOT us.  The Lord almost literally reached down and plucked us off of our "What Nate & Becca think is best" path and put us back where we belong....which is on the "What the Lord KNOWS is best" path.  We're glad to be on it!  And we will continue for the rest of our lives to enjoy the journey and have faith that the Lord's way is always better than our own.  Sometimes we wonder why the Lord couldn't have just told Nate YEARS ago to become a social worker....we could have saved so much money and time.  BUT we wouldn't have learned anything.  We wouldn't have learned these priceless life lessons of humility and pleading prayer and complete trust in God and the absolute pure LOVE that is felt when you know you are a child of God and that He is pleased with how you are living your life.  Trials are meant to teach us those things.  Trials are hard and painful, but they are a blessing and none of us would be able to become like Christ without refinement during our earthly journey.

And finally, once again, Roo is cute.

Feeling Humble

My childhood friend's daughter passed away last night.  Beautiful Lucy.  I have been following Lucy and her twin sister, Hazel's story, and it broke my heart to hear of Lucy's passing this morning.  Eliza and her husband have taught me so much about faith and humility.

I know God has a plan for each of us.  That plan can bring us SO much peace and happiness in this life, if we choose to be faithful and follow it with exactness.  But God's plan for His children also includes trials and pain and sadness and sickness and death.  I am grateful that we have a loving Heavenly Father.  His hand is over each of us, and no matter how hard life can get, He is always there to assure us that His ways are better than ours.

I can't help but look at my sweet Claire and feel overwhelmed with humility.  She (and Cam and Roo) are such beautiful gifts to me.  Why did I get to wake up to my smiley baby girl while my friend is suffering so badly?  I don't understand why my children are so perfectly healthy, when so many other children aren't.  I don't understand why some mothers have to endure the unthinkable trial of burying a child.  I don't understand God's ways and wisdom all the time, but I have seen His hand in my life with such precision, that I don't feel the need to completely understand His ways.  I trust Him.  I trust His plan for me and my family.  I have been given many trials in my life so far that have been extremely hard to bear, but today I am feeling grateful for those trials.  Life is GOOD.  Jesus Christ brings hope and peace and light and love.  He lives.  Because of His atonement, we can be with our families for eternity.

Gray Day Visitors

What a dreary, gray day it was outside today.  Such a contrast from our sunny hike yesterday.  I woke up not feeling too great, and we had no plans, so it was just going to be one of those Blah days where we lounge around and watch tv all day.  I always wish I could crawl back in bed with a stack of books on days like this.  Someday....!!

But then I got a message from my sweet friend, Laura, who I haven't seen in over a year.  She was in town today and wanted to stop by.  Made my day!!  So fun to snack on pumpkin muffins and hear all of her latest stories.  Laura, thanks for bringing some fun to our day!

(Good grief, Claire looks ginormous in this picture....STOP growing!!!  And Laura looks like a model.  As always.)

Then this evening, President Hutchison and Brother Wilkinson stopped by for a family visit.  They filled us with hope and faith and confidence that we are leading these beautiful children back to their Celestial home.  They reminded us that God knows our family.  He is aware of our needs and our concerns.  What a comforting thought! 

As Nate is preparing to turn in his applications, it has brought some fears and doubts back to our minds as to what life will hold for us if he doesn't get accepted.  I was very grateful for the reminder tonight that faith replaces fear.  President Hutchison reminded us that the Proclamation to the Family says that fathers have a duty to provide for their families.  And then in 1 Nephi, we are promised that God will never give us a commandment without preparing a way for us to accomplish it.  God WILL prepare a way for Nate to take care of this family.  I am so grateful for their visit.  My faith has been strengthened, and I feel so much peace.

You know what?  It actually wasn't a gray day at all.

What I Know

I'm feeling a desire to share what I know to be true today.  I've said all of these things before.  I say them today.  And be assured that I will repeat them countless times in the future.

I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I know it is Christ's true Gospel restored on the earth again through the prophet, Joseph Smith.  Priesthood authority has been restored to the earth.  I know that the Book of Mormon is a true witness of Jesus Christ and the importance, reality and need for His Atonement in our lives.  I know that we have a living prophet today, who leads and directs and counsels us with love.  I know that God lives.  He hears and answers our prayers when we are truly seeking to know and do His will.

Sitting outdoors all day, every day has given me the wonderful opportunity to read the April 2011 Conference issue of the Ensign straight through.  Such beautiful talks, full of hope and encouragement.  I love the message of becoming like Christ, not just doing the checklist items of scripture study, prayer, church attendence, etc.  Elder Dallin H. Oaks has said, "The Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts -- what we have DONE.  It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts -- what we have BECOME."

I have faith.  I have faith that with humility, patience, and the endless outpouring of God's love, we can overcome our weaknesses and worldly desires to become like Christ.  I am grateful every day for His mercy and patience with me because I have such a long way to go.  I envision the kind of person I want to be, and I get discouraged at all of my stumbling blocks and faults and weaknesses that I know I have to overcome to get there.  But I know that it is through those faults, along with the hardships and pains and trials we all face in our lives that the Lord shapes and molds us.  His path and plan for each of us is so much better than our plans for ourselves.  I have seen God's hand guide my life with too much precision and too much love to EVER deny it. 

I invite anyone who is willing to read the Book of Mormon.  Pray with sincerity to know if it is true.  I know it is because I have read it.  On my mission, I had lots of people tell me that it isn't true, but none of those people had ever even held the book in their hands.  I would always invite them to simply read...and then they are free to decide for themselves.  I love the Book of Mormon with all of my heart, and nothing will ever make me deny it's truth or waver my knowledge of it's power.  It brings light where there is darkness.  I love sharing this light with anyone I can.  It is just too wonderful to stay quiet about, especially when there is so much darkness in this world.

That is what I know.  I am proud to share it with anyone who will listen.  I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ or any of His teachings.  I will always share what I know to be true, as long as I live.  I will bow down before Christ when the time comes, and I pray every day that when He sees me, He will wrap me in His arms and say my name and know me because I have lived a life of devotion to Him.  I live to hear Him say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." 

A Forever Family

Today is a very exciting today for the Wood Family.

Kamie & Alex are going to the temple for the first time.  And while there, they will be sealed together and to their little handsome Ari as an eternal family.  Together for time and all eternity.  Any children they bring into the world from now on will automatically be sealed to them as well.  What a beautiful blessing!

This little family has been on an amazing journey the past 6 months to get to this point.  It has been wonderful to watch their faith in Christ grow and solidify into a firm testimony and desire to go to the temple.  The Book of Mormon was a major key in this journey because it is real.  It is true.  It produced this miracle. 

Life is no longer just a day-to-day experience for this family.  Now it has real purpose.  Real direction.  Real hope.  An eternal goal that will make every day worth it.  Living the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the only thing that will bring families to the temple, thus allowing them to remain together after death.

I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I know these things are true.  I know Christ lives and loves each of us.  The Book of Mormon is true.  I invite everyone to please open this book and just read.  Like I've promised before, it'll change your life in miraculous ways...just like it did for this family.

(I hope she doesn't mind, but you can read some of Kamie's beautiful thoughts on the Book of Mormon and temples here and here.)

TT: He Lives

Last week was a really hard week for me.  Probably one of the toughest weeks I've ever had, aside from maybe at the beginning of my mission.  It was really awful, and I hated every long minute of it.  But I know my Heavenly Father and my Savior love me.  I know this, because even though nothing has changed circumstantially....the reasons for my fear and sadness and anguish are still present.  But I now feel peace and love around me, instead of those dark, horrible feelings of doubt.  And I know that I feel peace and love because of my Savior.  Because of prayer.  Because of the Priesthood.  Because of righteousness.  Because of patience.  Because of faith.  Because He Lives. 

The Lord has a plan for this family.  I let my knowledge and vision of that plan waver a little last week, and that's why I was so overcome with fear of man.  The Lord let me struggle to regain my footing, and I'm grateful for that because now my knowledge is even more sure than it was before.  What a wonderful gift and blessing.

Last week I was reading a talk from October's General Conference.  In one of the talks, this scripture was shared, and as I read it, I was filled with peace, and it was one of the many things that helped lift me back up.  In this verse, the Lord gives a powerful promise to Joseph Smith (and in turn, all of us, His children).  It says, "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed." - Doctrine & Covenants 123: 17.

 I have been letting this verse run through my head over and over for several days now.  Nate and I still don't know the Lord's exact plan for our family, even though we are literally begging the Lord every day for some guidance and direction. Our answers might come next week or they might come next year.  We don't know, and that doesn't matter.  We just know they will come.  The Lord WILL cause miracles to happen on our behalf.  We know He will.  That's what we DO know.  Because really, they are already happening.  Miracles.  Every single day, all around us.  I see it in these 2 faces every day.

"Fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever." -Doctrine and Covenants 122:9.

It Never Has to End

Thank you so so much for joining me on this Book of Mormon challenge.  And thank you for sharing your miracles you've seen and felt.  My heart has felt joy in a way that I haven't felt since I was a missionary.

I have also developed the unshaken knowledge that the Lord WILL take care of those who love and obey Him.  When I saw the positive pregnancy test back at the end of November, it was definitely a surprise.  Nate thought I was joking when I told him!!  We knew that August is going to be a really crazy month for us, with moving somewhere and Nate starting a whole new career as a teacher.  So we had decided to put the 3rd baby plans on hold for a few months to let our lives settle down a bit.  So we just laughed and shook our heads when we saw that the Lord (yet again) had tweaked our attempt at making plans for our life!

So when I saw the positive test, my first instinct was to start panicking....How can we have a baby in August?  What if we are between jobs and don't have insurance?  What if we're smack in the middle of trying to move across the country?  What if we can't afford another 3-bedroom place?  How can Nate handle a brand new job with insane lesson planning and still have time to help me out with THREE kids??

The questions flew through my head, but then left as quickly as they arrived.  We were about 3 weeks into our Read With Me challenge, and the power of the Lord's promise "If ye keep my commandments, ye shall prosper in the land."  overwhelmed me.  I COULDN'T WORRY.....the thoughts wouldn't come.  I actually TRIED to worry about this summer, and I literally couldn't.  The knowledge of Christ's love was SO solid in my heart, that all I could do was smile and look at Nate and say, "Wow, Honey....the Lord wants this baby to come in August, and He will provide us with a job, insurance and a place to live."  I know it's true.  The Lord has so many amazing things planned for the Wood Family in 2011, and all of my fears and stresses and worries have been replaced by faith, love, confidence, excitement, and pure JOY!  Even though I've been sicker than I've ever been, I have never felt such happiness.

So now, as we end this challenge and this year, I invite you to NEVER LET IT END.  Keep reading.  Keep feeling this power.  Study the scriptures and pay attention to how you FEEL.  Don't worry about if the Nephites were headed northward or southward.  It doesn't matter who was the descendant of whom.....or if Mormon is writing or Moroni.  What matters is that the children of God who humbly obeyed God's commandments always prospered.  And those who didn't....they were in Satan's power and had no lasting happiness or promise of eternal life.  IT'S REAL, my dear friends.  Let Christ into your life, and never let what you are feeling end.  Keep going, and Christ will call you by name and welcome you into his loving arms, and you will stand in His presense with your head held high.  It's worth it.  This is all that matters in this life.

I love you all.  Happy New Year!

(By the way, I'm reading the Book of Mormon again by my 30th birthday on March 7, if anyone wants to join me again.  Then I'm going to read the Old and New Testaments before August.....)

Seven Promised Blessings

When Nate & I were engaged, he came to a Church meeting with me where the speaker listed 5 Blessings of Studying the Scriptures.  I jotted them down on a blank notecard.  On the other side, Nate & I wrote naughty notes to each other in Korean.  This card has been my scripture bookmark since that day. 

These are the 5 Promised Blessings we will receive if we diligently feast upon Christ's words each day:

1. We narrow the distance between ourselves & our Heavenly Father.
2. Our Spirituality shines.
3. We love more intently those we should love.
4. It's much easier to follow council given to us by prophets and leaders.
5. The lessons of life are learned more readily & surely.

I added 2 more to that list since then:

6. We can avoid temptation; Satan will have no power over us (1 Nephi 15:24-25).
7. "Ye shall have eternal life." (2 Nephi 31:20).

What beautiful promised blessings!  And there are easily dozens more to add to that list!

I remember during my mission, we would read for 30 minutes every morning before breakfast.  I would just eat it up, I didn't want the 30 minutes to end!  I read the Book of Mormon 7 times in 18 months, and I also began a wonderful study of the Old Testament as well.  I couldn't get enough. 

During my mission, I felt those 7 Promised Blessings SO strongly every single day, every single hour, every single minute.  I felt invincible!  My faith was rock solid.  I literally felt the Lord's presence with me all the time.  It was so wonderful.  I felt so lifted up and definitely the happiest I'd been in my entire life.

So I'm on a quest to get that back.  I miss feeling like that, and now that I've tasted what it's like, I KNOW it's real.  These promised blessings are real.  I have been reading my scriptures while Roo is napping and Cam is at school.  It's good, but I need to do better.  I'm going to do better.  And I have no doubts that I will reach that place again.

Because that place is worth any and every sacrifice it takes to get there.  I promise!!  I love the scriptures and know they are true.

***

And by the way, I'm not telling you what we wrote on the other side of that card!!  There is only one other person who knows what we were talking about because she was sitting with us.....and that's Laycee.

My Laycee

One more long, wordy, serious post for you.  Ya'll don't have to read it.  It's more for me to just record some things and have them saved.

I have been really missing my best friend, Laycee lately.  She passed away 4 years ago, and I still just miss that girl!  I really wish I could talk to her....  Sometimes I'd give anything to just pick up my phone and call her.  Sometimes if I'm alone, I do just talk to her still.  She served a mission to Poland.  There is a great Polish couple who lives here in the Village, and sometimes I find myself thinking, "Oh I should call Lace and find out how to say something!" 

I'll never forget the day I found out she had passed away.  It was my and Nate's 1st wedding anniversary.  I was on my way home from work, and was SO excited to go home, pack a bag, and head to a Bed & Breakfast with my man.  On my way home, I decided to call Lace and see how she was doing.  She had just moved to Kansas.  I had gotten a text message from her 10 days earlier (that I still have in my phone), and we hadn't been in touch since.  I called her phone, and I was surprised when her mom answered.  Why was her mom in Kansas?  Her mom proceeded to tell me that Laycee had passed away the night before.  I could barely make it the rest of the way home.  Nate walked through the door with a dozen red roses, and I just collapsed into his arms.  It was a really hard day.  We still celebrated our Anniversary, but it definitely wasn't as relaxing as it should have been! 

A few days later, I was asked to speak at Laycee's funeral.  While talking to Laycee's mom on the phone, I had a feeling that they were going to ask me to speak.  But I was still overwhelmed.  I took a day off work and wrote my talk and pondered and went to the temple.  I felt such an obligation to Laycee to make my talk very meaningful.  I felt such a reverence and respect for her during those few days....I had NO doubts that if she were speaking at my funeral instead, she'd be giving forth the same effort. We had each other's backs like that!!  I knew her funeral would be packed, she was seriously the coolest!!  She & Nate had a special friendship, she called him "Natey-Poo" and he called her "Laycee-Poo".  The other day, I found some emails the two of them had sent each other while she was helping Nate pick out an engagement ring for me.  She was single, and I know it was hard on her to watch me get married, but she was right by my side the entire time....and she was the first person I called after our Honeymoon!!  Wow, I really miss talking to her, I have so much to tell her!!

I have no doubts that Laycee took care of Cam & Roo (and is still watching over our future children) for us before they came to this earth.  She used to make this hilarious face when she'd eat something sour.....and when Cam was a baby, he used to make the same face.  I always told Nate that she probably taught him that!!  I know Cam & Lace were best friends before he got here....they'd definitely love each other now!  Since she passed, I always "tell" her that she had better be front and center to greet me when I pass away....I seriously can't wait to see that girly again!!!!

So I'd like to copy & paste the talk I gave here.  So I will always have it and remember it.  The funeral was February 10, 2006.  It was a very difficult day.  She was so young, only 26.  Seeing her family and her pictures and belongings....I couldn't breathe.  Seeing her body was nearly impossible for me.  It wasn't her.  She was SO full of life, hyper, hilarious....it was very obvious that her Spirit was not in her body anymore.  I sobbed through the viewing and the entire funeral....except during my talk.  Laycee's mom told me before it started that if I needed to end my talk and sit down early, I could.  But I didn't want to...I owed it to Lace.  I felt a calm, peaceful feeling as I stood up.  My tears were graciously put on hold while I spoke, I felt divine help.  I have never forgotten that, and I'm so grateful I was able to do this for my best friend and her wonderful family.

Here is what I said:

This past week was difficult and brought a lot of sadness as I thought about what I would say and the memories I have of Laycee. But it was also an extremely uplifting and spiritual week. My testimony has been strengthened so much, and I am grateful for that.


Laycee and I have been best friends for almost 9 years. It was one of those friendships where no matter where our lives took us, no matter what we were doing—we were always friends. Laycee was always there for me. We met in the summer of 1997 when both of our families moved into the ward on the same weekend from out of state. We took comfort in each other—both of us being new, afraid, and homesick together. We immediately clicked and have been together ever since. I remember being so lonely when I first moved to Utah, and Laycee was there for me. In high school, we shared a locker, spent hours coming up with plans to get our crushes to notice us, ate ice cream and Subway sandwiches nearly every day. We tried to start going running after school—that is until we were chased by a dog and Laycee refused to go again. We never stopped laughing about the time we spent 2 hours being chased in our car all over Salem by 2 boys in our ward—we thought they were just trying to attack us with paintballs, but all they really were trying to do was stop us so they could ask us to a dance.


After high school we went our separate ways for a few years. Laycee went on a mission, and right when she got home, I left for my mission. Her mission was an example to me. Through those experiences, we reunited and grew even closer. Again, Laycee was there for me when I returned home. We understood each other and why it was so hard to come home after serving a mission. We took walks around Salem Pond and shared mission stories and tried to teach each other Polish and Korean. One of my favorite memories was about a year and a half ago when Laycee suggested that we spend an hour or so each night studying the Old Testament. We bought study guides and marking pencils. It was such a wonderful experience as best friends to spend time praying, reading, studying, and discussing the Gospel. I will never forget that.


Throughout the past 2 years we attended the same medical assisting school, spent hours in her Provo apartment watching movies, went swimming and got sunburned at Seven Peaks water park, and talked for hours while driving up Payson Canyon. She loved to just talk about everything. We would talk about anything from music and movies to our future families and the Gospel.


Laycee was also there for me when I met my husband. She made a point to spend time with and get to know him—even telling him that he couldn’t marry me until she approved of who her new brother-in-law would be. She helped him pick out the ring, and she was sitting in the front row when we were sealed in the temple.

I’m so grateful for all of these memories. Laycee is truly my sister, and I love her so much. I love her laugh and her energy, and I will always remember what she taught me.


In preparation for this talk, I attended the temple last night. I felt so much peace and happiness there. My sadness was replaced with a stronger knowledge that those who have departed this earth life are not far. They are in a state of happiness, a state of rest, a state of peace. I have no doubt that Laycee was greeted by loved ones who went before. I am grateful for the temple and what it teaches us about our Heavenly Father’s Plan for us. This week I have gained a strong, solid testimony that this earth life is only one part of that plan. Elder Russell M. Nelson said, “Life does not begin with birth, nor does it end with death. We were born to die, and we die to live. As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven.” What comforting words! I am so grateful for the knowledge that the Gospel brings to us. I know this Gospel is true, and I know that through the blessings of the temple, we will be reunited with Laycee again. Eternal families are real. Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ live.


Close: Elder Russell M. Nelson: “We need not look upon death as an enemy. With full understanding and preparation, faith supplants fear. Hope displaces despair. The Lord said, “Fear not even unto death; for in this world your joy is not full, but in me your joy is full.” He bestowed this gift: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let your heart not be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

My Work

I read these comments by Ashley Sullenger a few days ago, and I can't get it out of my mind.  It hit me like a ton of bricks when I read it, and my mind has been reeling ever since.  It is so profound, so true, so beautiful.  Here is what she said:

"I've thought a lot about why an 18 month old little girl would be called home and a 22 year old [me] is still here. I feel very strongly she had a specific mission in which she completed very quickly. Many people have told me her work here on earth was finished. As I kept hearing this phrase over and over again, I knew there was something I was supposed to learn from it. It took twelve weeks for it to "click" in my head. The key word is work. If Preslee's work was finished, than what's my work? What am I supposed to accomplish while I'm here on earth?


As I climb into bed each night I've started reviewing my actions during the day. What was my work for the day? What was I supposed to accomplish?

All these different ideas have been swimming around in my head for quite some time. Then as I listened to conference last Sunday it seemed that many of the speakers answered my question. They taught how to seek the Holy Ghost.They explained I need to read my scriptures, pray, do the basic things I've been taught from a young age. The things that should already be habits in my life. These simple actions invite the spirit. And once he arrives, I'll be told what my work is for that day. I'll be prompted to do His work, which becomes my work as I become an instrument for Him."

Wow, isn't that beautiful?  She is so eloquent with her words, I just love it.  What's my work?  That phrase keeps going through my head now. 

Being a mother is work.  It is hard, exhausting, behind-the-scenes work.  But right now in my life, it is my work.  It is how I am serving my Savior....raising these children the best that I know how is my purpose in life.  Everything I do every single day is preparing my children to be worthy missionaries and eventually marry in the temple and begin this cycle of teaching and loving all over again with their children.  Every day I am helping them put on their armor and face the world until they are old enough to put it on themselves. 

Ever since our Nashville dream was tossed aside, and as the baby-less months and months (and months) go by, and as the tears seem to never end, I have been slowly drawing closer and closer to my Savior.  Seeking His comfort.  Seeking his guidance and answers.  Fasting, praying, reading, studying, thinking, listening.  I'm learning a lot.  I'm so grateful for these very insignificant trials the Lord has given me because they are causing me to grow and to learn how to be still, listen, patiently do my work while I wait for His next request of me.  I have felt strongly the prompting to put my energy into motherhood.  Stop complaining & worrying.  Just serve my family.  Read to my children more.  Keep my home orderly and clean.  The rest will come.  It will fall into place.  It always does.

Stay Close

Back to reality.

This is how my children really look every day...just so ya know.

Yesterday afternoon Nate was at work, so I took the kids outside to play.  We have a big, grassy area outside our door, and I usually bring out a blanket and a book to read.  I am always sure to keep a watchful eye on my kids though, of course!!  But yesterday, I became a little too captivated by my book (reading 'The Fire of Faith' by John Groberg....amazing!!!) and didn't look up from it for several pages. 

When I realized I needed to see where my babies were, I immediately sat up and scanned the large courtyard and playground.  I didn't see them right away.  Across the lawn is a small, grass-covered hill (perhaps it's a null?), and I saw Cam's cute head barely over the top of it; he was just playing on the sidewalk on the other side.  So my next action was to find Roo. 

Immediately the thought came into my mind: "Don't even panic for a second...of course she is with her big brother....she would never leave his side." 

And yes, there she was, just a few feet away from him, pushing a doll in the little pink baby stroller.  I sat there for a few moments and thought.  I thought about Cam and Allie's relationship...and that led me to think about the relationship we ought to have with Christ.  We all have an older brother.  And like Roo, we should never leave His side.  I'm sure our Heavenly Father is comforted, like I was, when He sees us following and staying close to our brother, the Savior.  He will keep us safe.  He will show us what to do.  He will hold our hand and guide us.  But we have to stay close to Him...we have to follow His exact foosteps and not lag behind on our part...or we might find ourselves lost and alone.  Christ invites ALL into His loving, warm embrace, but it's up to us just how close to Him we want to be each day.

Pure Love of Christ

Sometimes I can't stop taking pictures of my children because they just give me so much to work with!!

We have been staying busy.  I feel like these are my last few weeks to play hard with Cameron before he has preschool every afternoon.  I'm excited for him to have some structure and activies....but it's also hitting me that he's growing up so quickly!!  We've been visiting the library, zoo, hanging out with Grandpa in Salem, errands, and plenty of outside time.  I have been taking them back outside lately after dinner to really wear them out.  They always play on the slides while we wait for Daddy to walk up the sidewalk....best part of the day is watching the kids run to him. 

Our Civic has been giving us some grief lately....two muffler problems in less than a month = shelling out more cash than I'd like to!  It's hard paying for things like car repairs.  But, we had to remind ourself that 'Annie' (I named her that back in 2000) has given us 10 solid years with no repairs until now.  She's 13 years old (yes, she's a she...), and we're hoping she'll hang in there for several more years.  Yay for Hondas!!

In our Gospel study, Nate & I decided to study 'kindness' this week.  We are trying to have a theme each week to study and then discuss at Family Night on Sundays.  So in relation to kindness, I've been thinking a lot about charity.  Charity is the "pure love of Christ" (Moroni 7:47).  I have been wanting to really focus my thoughts and actions lately on charity in my home.  Towards my husband and children.  I think because we are so close to our families every single day, we forget that they deserve our best efforts.  In the missionary Preach My Gospel manual it says that when we have charity, "your love for all people will increase, especially those among whom you labor (or live, I added!).  You will come to feel a sincere concern for the eternal welfare and happiness of other people.  You will see them as children of God with the potential of becoming like our Heavenly Father.  You will avoid negative feelings such as anger.  You will be patient with them and try to help them when they are struggling or discouraged.  Charity, like faith, leads to action."  Wow, I just love that.  Wonderful promised blessings for us when we pray for charity and then serve, serve, serve!  I need to serve my family more.  Nate is a great example of that.  He would do anything for me at the drop of a hat.  I love him so much.  I love my beautiful babies so much. 

Heaven on Earth

Nothing makes me feel happier and as peaceful as being inside these walls with my Nate.

We enjoyed a beautiful morning at the Salt Lake City temple this morning.  Me and my man.  We felt peace.  We prayed.  We remembered covenants and promises.  We left the world for a few hours.  We were taught from above.  We felt close to God.  We prayed some more.  We felt guidance.  We felt promptings.  We felt comfort and assurance for our family.  Together as husband and wife, as a mother and a father.  Dressed in white. 

Humble, sincere worship in holy temples lifts us up to a place that is closer to heaven than any other place on earth. 

I loved going to the temple with Nate while we were dating.  I loved feeling the assurance and confirmation over and over that my life and the choices I was making were in exact alignment with what my Heavenly Father had planned for me. 

And I love feeling those same assurances and confirmations in my life now.

Southern Respect & A Family Motto

Apparently Cam is picking up more than just some mad basketball skills and dance moves from his HSM obsession.  The other day, I asked him to go put his shoes on so we could leave, and he shocked me with the cheerful answer of, "Yes, Sir."

I asked him where he learned that, and he said, "That's what Troy says."  Sweet, right on!  So I explained that boys are 'sirs' and girls are 'ma'ms'.  I told him that it is very respectful and polite of him to talk like that, and that he is welcome to say that anytime he wants!

So last night when I asked him to bring me his cup, his precious little voice called out, "Yes, Ma'm!!"

I love it.  Bring on the South, my boy is ready.

***
Our August issue of the Ensign arrived the other day, and I immediately retreated to my bed to indulge.

I have been thinking a lot about raising my children and making my home a safe haven where they can readily feel the love of their Heavenly Father.  It's not an easy task.  But more than anything, I want my children to succeed in developing a rock solid testimony of the Gospel and know that their Savior lives.  No matter what worldly influences they encounter, I want them to know that their purpose and worth in this life is more than what the world will have them think.

President Boyd K. Packer wrote a wonderful article in this issue, and one paragraph of it hit me hard when I read it.  I decided to make one line of it as our new family motto.  I will read this to the children daily, and as they get older and can read, I want to place it where they will see it often.

"You live in an interesting generation, when trials will be constant in your life.  Learn to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost.  It is to be a shield and a protection and a teacher for you.  Never be ashamed or embarrassed about the doctrines of the gospel or about the standards we teach in the Church.  You always, if you are faithful in the Church, will be much different from the world at large."  - President Boyd K. Packer

Cameron and Allison,  it is a privilege to be much different from the world.  Stay close to your parents, each other, and especially the Savior.  Keep your standards high, and continue to open the scriptures and pray daily. You will always be safe, peaceful and happy in this life.  And we will be an eternal family.  Daddy & I know this is true.

Some Thoughts...

I linked over to this blog this morning from Angel Lucy's.  Sobbing, I can't breathe.  My heart hurts.  This little girl was just a month older than my Roo.  I couldn't do it.  Why is my baby here, and her baby isn't?  I have faith.  I have faith in a loving Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ.  His Plan for us is eternal and perfect as He lovingly shapes and molds us into the people we need to be to qualify and desire to enjoy eternal life with Him and our families.  I have faith in that....even if I don't always understand His ways.  I trust in Him always.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go join my babies on the sofa and watch Curious George with them.  I love them so much.  I love them more than words can express.  They are my life, they mean everything to me.  All that Nate & I do every day is for nobody but them. 

Cameron is so handsome.  He gives the BEST kisses with those lips of his. I love Cameron's infectious smile and outgoing personality.  He's so friendly, everybody knows Cameron Wood around here.  He's so focused on the things he loves: baskeball & bike riding.  He's going to go far in life. 

I love Allison's gorgeous dark hair and beautiful blue eyes.  She is an absolute joy to me in every sense of the word.  Sometimes she'll just walk up to me and put her arm around my leg and just stand there for awhile.  Making sure I'm there, I guess?  My Allie is my dream come true.

In a laundry basket, with a salad bowl, putting on shoes.

A loving touch from Big Brother.

Apparently my kids love laundry baskets.

I can't wait for more babies...

I WILL...

I have been working hard over the past year to make some changes in my life and also for my family.  Some I have succeeded at, and others not so much.  But I think the most important thing is to always be working to better ourselves and do a little more each day to become who we ultimately want to become.

Our purpose here on earth is to become like Christ. 

In 1973, our dear prophet Ezra Taft Benson said, "The only measure of true greatness is how close a man can become like Jesus. That man is greatest who is most like Christ, and those who love him most will be most like him.

How, then, does a man imitate God, follow his steps, and walk as he walked, which we are commanded to do? We must study the life of Christ, learn his commandments, and do them. God has promised that to follow this course will lead a man to an abundant life and a fullness of joy and the peace and rest which those who are heavy-burdened long for. To learn of Christ necessitates the study of the scriptures and the testimonies of those who know him. We come to know him through prayer and the inspiration and revelation that God has promised to those who keep his commandments."

I have been studying the scriptures lately in search of ways to change and serve my Savior better.  We recieved the June issue of the Ensign the other day (read HERE), and it was filled with articles just for me!!  Filled with little suggestions on what we can do today to put God at the head of our lives.

I wanted to make a list of "goals"....but then I was thinking that goals give you the option to fail.  So instead of goals, I'm calling them a list of "commitments".  Things I WILL do.  Some are petty and small.  Some are deep & meaningful.  Some I can include my husband and children in.  Some are just for me.  Some I am already doing and want to continue.  I will "return & report" how things are going in a month or two.

I WILL:

• Limit my internet use.  Especially Facebook.
• Spend 15 minutes (or more) each day working on duties of my calling in Relief Society.
• Make bread once a week.
• Eat fresh oatmeal for breakfast every morning.
• Green smoothie every day for mid-morning snack.
• Eat only whole grains, fruits & vegetables for lunch.
• Eat meat for dinner only once a week.
• Learn new recipes using beans, tofu, vegetables & lentils.
• Walk atleast a mile every day (aka pulling Roo in the wagon atleast 6 times around the court!!)
• Re-learn 5 Korean words every day (I am surrounded by wonderful Korean families here, and I need to take advantage!  I brushed up on the days of the week yesterday with my sweet friend YeJean....so sad that I had forgotten most of them!  I told her to speak only Korean to me from now on!)  I have thought about starting to learn Spanish, but my heart is with Korean always!
• Eat nothing after 8 pm except for fresh fruit.  (I have a HUGE nighttime binging problem...usually consisting of freshly baked cookies or brownies or a huge bowl of popcorn....really needs to STOP!)
• Turn off television and read more.
• Make a good scripture/Gospel study plan (see above quote...more on this later).
• Pray for opportunities to serve others.
• Replace negative thoughts with actions of love and gratitude and productivity.
• Retire to bed no later than 10 pm.

So....give me your advice.  Your ideas.  Your recipes.  Your own I Wills.  Your experiences.  Your testimonies.

***

Roo and her oatmeal

PS...Notice how I've made no I Will's concerning my home or cleaning?  It's because I give up!  My house is messy and I have come to accept that.  Sigh...

Impressions

I have had two distinct, strong, almost tangible impressions from the Spirit in my life.  Obviously I have had lots of impressions & guidance from the Lord as I've lived my life so far.  The Lord promises his children that He will be on our right hand and on our left...  He loves us and will be as involved in our lives as we allow Him to be.

But two impressions were the strongest.

The first was about my decision to serve a mission.  I was 20 years old, and I was sitting in Church and we sang the hymn, 'Go Forth With Faith."  When we sang the verse that says, "Go forth with faith to tell the world of Jesus Christ, the Lord.  Bear witness he is God's own son; proclaim his wondrous word. Go forth with hope and courage strong to spread the word abroad, that people of all nations are children of our God."  I broke down and couldn't sing anymore.  I knew I had to go on my mission and turned in my papers a week later.  I knew I wanted to go to a foreign country...although I wasn't quite prepared for a place as foreign as Korea!  But luckily there was a cute boy named Nate a few miles north getting ready to serve his mission to Korea too.  The Lord knew we would meet there, love and serve the people, work hard with no regrets, and come home to find happiness together.

The second & strongest was to have Allison Jane.

I felt impressed upon to have Cameron, but it also just seemed like the next step in life, so I was ready for that and wasn't hit quite as hard with a prompting...it was more like a "go ahead, you have my blessing" feeling.  But with Allie girl, I was standing in my living room, next to the window....  I still wasn't ready for another baby yet...but right then, I felt the strongest feeling I've ever felt.  I could almost touch it.  I'll never forget it.

Have another baby.  Have it now.  This baby will be very special to your family.

I called Nate that very second and said, "We need to have another baby."

"I know," is all he said.  And we hung up.

When the Lord speaks to Nate & I, we obey.

This is our reward:

Cam, Roo, Grandpa Wood

She completely fell asleep in the swing this morning.