Struggling

It's April.  It's Spring here in Utah, which we sometimes get jipped on.  It's beautiful out.  It's Conference Weekend.  Nate didn't have to work.  We had a wonderful Spring Break with the kids, I took them to Salem.  They rode scooters behind my parents house until they collapsed.  Claire slept all nuzzled into Grandma's neck.  I watched The Middle with my dad and we laughed and laughed and laughed.

Life is so good.  I feel Heavenly Father's love so strongly every day.  I feel Him guiding Nate and I.  His Hand is over this family.

So...why do I feel SO horrible??  I know why.  My biggest weakness and struggle in my life.  There is one aspect of my life that I can't control.  Satan knows it, and He uses ANY and EVERY angle he can to make it drown out all that goodness that I mentioned above.  I hate it!

It comes and goes.  Some days or weeks it's not bad, but on others it can debilitate me.  It's just not a good day.  I blame Facebook.  I need a break from it.

I feel like in Utah, women are pressured to and typically tend to look a certain way.  I don't look that way.  I never will.  I don't want to.  It's not who I am.  I feel SO good about myself in Oregon, Ohio (and Tennessee!).  :)

But I live in Utah.  I mostly likely always will.  :(  So I'll struggle through the bad days and try to capture the good ones.  Deep down, I TRULY love who I am.  I love being active and outdoorsy and wearing casual clothing and minimal makeup.  Nate loves that about me.

Just venting.  I'll be okay.  Staying off the dumb Internet always helps.  Diving into the scriptures ALWAYS helps.  So I'll do just that!