One of the things a lot of the articles talked about was how mentally tough the training program would be. It would push you to your limits. You would be forced to dig deep and expose raw emotions that you haven't really had to deal with before.
I signed up before I became close to my running group, so I thought I'd be doing my long runs alone. Obviously NOT the case! They have been a complete BLAST.
But I wasn't ready for how tedious and difficult my mid-week runs would be. They are starting to kill me! They are increasing in distance (7 miles this morning), and so I'm having to wake up earlier to get them done before Nate leaves. My legs are usually still dead from the previous long run, and they just aren't good for my confidence.
I did NOT want to run this morning. Setting my alarm for 6 am made me feel cranky last night. I dreaded setting out my running clothes. I didn't even want to look at them. I'm sick of them!
I've never cried on a run before. This morning, I felt SO tired and defeated that I just cried. At Mile 2! I let my body just take over and do what it needed to do. I walked a lot, sprinted up the hills, no rhyme or reason to this run. I just moved forward however my body wanted to. It was eternal.
I'm just tired. I'm stressed about having NO idea where we will be living in two months.
I know it'll be okay. Days and weeks like this are to be expected. They are normal. I'm grateful for this experience. I'm not very good at pushing myself when things get tough. I'm not the best at seeing things through to the end. But I'm going to do this. At first, I thought my marathon experience was ALL about crossing that finish line. And that will be amazing. But I'm learning now that finishing each of these training runs is crossing a mini-finish line. Each run is a triumph.
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When the going gets tough, my rock solid Mama J and Robert Merriman NEVER fail to make me feel like a million bucks.
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